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In the absence of Danny and Muleman, it has fallen upon Franco to write the
Friday Ride Report.

Incident at the Senate: An attempted coup?

Six of us gathered at Deer Park, including el Presidente, Jake, Lisa, Shed
Knickers, me and special guest Karen Goldman. Before we left, I subjected the
gang to the final impeachment trial vote on the radio. Some grumbled-it seemed
irrelevant. I thought it both hysterical (think hysteria) and historical, and
was somehow emotional about it. Definitely time to get even with someone.

Remembering Alan

Karen is the wife of the late Alan Goldman, trail builder and advocate
extraordinair, so we proudly took her to the Goldman Trail, which we had
finished only last week. It was Karen's first time on the whole segment. She
and I rode together, chuckling over tales about the eccentric and outspoken
Alan Goldman. He needed his own personal spin control handlers. You certainly
remember the committee whose job it was to "Alanize" his public utterances to
make them palatable to regular people. And you doubtless know a bunch of other
stories. So it went: great fun celebrating Alan while riding his trail. I hope
he was around somewhere checking us out.

We continued up Serpentine and thence to variously named meadow. (I tend to
call it Spliff Meadow.) El Presidente spotted me and others on the
intimidating rock face at the bottom of Serpentine, which is almost back in my
repertoire. The power of persuasion mystifies. After recovering from an
earlier faceplant, I had become able to clean it. Then I was scared by my
summer accident, and just as I started to put it back together, I heard that a
bunch of people still can't do it. This set me back even more. But I'm getting
there: one more rock to go.

After B-17, Lisa and Jake boogied ahead for an alleged shower-date, (according
to Lisa,) and Karen bailed for Fairfax.

Incident at Horseshoe Junction: A successful coup?

I'm not a competitive person. Not in the least. Except very occasionally. Like
in that rare instance that I get to WIN!! (But I'll try to stay calm-not get
ahead of myself.) Shed Knickers and I arrived at Horseshoe Junction, just as
el Presidente was completing whatever tasks el Presidentes'without interns
perform when they are alone waiting at the top of a climb. In Danny's absence
he had no one to play horseshoes with, so he gladly accepted the idea of a
horseshoe tournament. Big mistake.

It quickly became a struggle between East and West. We began with a match
between Shed Knickers and me. The Crowd (of one) became slightly boisterous,
urging Shed Knickers on to an early victory. To no avail. East prevailed,
5-zip! The margin of victory was nicely enhanced by the ringer East made after
securing a 2 - 0 lead. It was a Special Moment: East pulled a Babe Ruth while
the shot was in the air, shouting "that's a good one!" just before the classic
thud of steel choking wood. The Crowd (of one) was ecstatic. (The Special
Moment became somewhat diluted later when East attempted to repeat the Ruthian
prediction-which lost it's charm the third time it failed. The net effect was
to render the first utterance dumb luck rather than divine determination.
Franco learns a little patience!)

The players switched, and el Presidente entered the arena to take on the
winner. A hush came over the Crowd (of one). The Challenger from the East had
previously taken out the infamous Danny, who had himself on several prior
occasions taken out el Presidente. (El Presidente asked me to report that he
has beaten Danny, but I digress.) If this caused el Presidente any concern, he
hid it well, and the game commenced. El Presidente permitted himself a wry
grin after securing a 1-0 advantage. He was confident and the Crowd (of one)
roared its approval. Suspense built as Franco foiled el Presidente with a one-
pointer, but el Presidente quickly recovered and took the lead again. After
attempting to kneecap el Presidente a couple of times, Franco again pulled
even. The Crowd (of one) clearly had a Western bias, and tried to inspire a
quick and decisive victory by performing the classic "wave." This failed for
obvious reasons. El Presidente pushed on, and soon enjoyed a one point lead.
It looked tough for the Challenger from the East. Suffering from premature
bravado, part of the Crowd (of one) even tried to leave early to beat the
traffic, but this again proved to be physically impossible. Then a miracle
occurred. Franco pulled even and there ensued a scoreless volley of near
misses punctuated by insanely wild shots, and broken only when a forcefulFranco pitch overshot the field, rebounded off of a bush at el Presidente's feet, and gave the game-winning point to the East. El Presidente tried to burn
the bush by calling foul, but this tactic failed. At this, el Presidente and
the Crowd (of one) decided enough was enough, and headed back to their
respective barns. Franco was left to grub up, and ponder his next move.

The Solo Endgame

Drunk with victory, I headed over to Alpine Dam, via Oat Hill and Old Vee. My
head swelled only a little bit further when I met a hiker who was impressed
that I reportedly could actually ride up Old Vee. (I'm glad you weren't there
to witness this shameless loss of dignity.) I climbed to the top of Bolinas
Ridge, where I supped in the redwoods, then enjoyed a brisk (weatherwise)
climb up Ridgecrest to Rock Springs. The Farallons were happening and the
breeze was bracing. Fortunately, my heat and ventilation systems were
efficient, so it was a great climb.

The descent to the lake, and then to Deer Park was without incident. Unless
you count the fact that I figured it all out during the solo part of the day's
ride. I mean everything! After great reflection, I came to understand and
accept my own foibles, and finally knew how to put it all together for me, my
family and my friends. A truly inspirational and life-transforming journey of
self discovery!

Unfortunately, I forgot it all by the time I got home. So much for the
Potentially Human movement. I'll have to go riding to find myself again.

In brief:

6, then 3, then 1 happy camper(s);
no mechanicals;
exceptionally "from scratch" cocoa, which included vanilla extract and sugar;
not too many bad jokes;
33 miles;
4800' vertical gain;

Happy trails,

Your humble servant,

Franco